Lost Things

I’ve lost a lot of important things in my lifetime.
I’ve lost animals, friends, family, hope, time, opportunities …
I’ve also lost myself.
I’ve lost myself many times, but I was always able to find her again.
The last time I lost myself, however, was March of 2020, and I haven’t been able to find her since.
I’ve been looking for three years, but I’ve found nothing.
It honestly feels like I should’ve put out a Missing Person report by now.
Actually, let’s do that now:

She’s lonely, and she only wears black hoodies with the same three pairs of pants.
She spends half her time reading books, and she does well academically.
She doesn’t talk much, and she doesn’t do extracurriculars
but, at the very least, she did what she loved.
She drew, she coloured, she watched anime like it was going out of style,
she roleplayed on Discord servers, she was happy.

I don’t know where this girl went, but I miss her so much.
I want more, than anything, to get her back but I’m not sure I ever will.
Not even going back in time would help me find her, because
no matter how desperately I want to believe, deep down I already know,
the damage is done, and that girl is, forever, another lost thing.